The Dutch Invented That: An Irreverent Amsterdam Tour

This isn’t your typical history lesson. It’s a tasting platter of Amsterdam’s quirks, from its obsession with bikes and water management, to the surprising Dutch origins of modern capitalism.

On this free-spirited walking tour, you’ll discover the city through the eyes of Greg Shapiro, an American comedian who’s become a dual Dutch-American citizen. You’ll find out why Amsterdam is a city of contradictions where historic canals, modern engineering marvels, and centuries-old traditions unapologetically exist alongside one another.

The tour starts at Amsterdam Central Station, where you’ll learn why there’s a wind dial on the tower. You’ll see the historic waterfront where Henry Hudson set sail for New York, encounter the famous bike culture (and learn why Dutch cyclists never fix their brakes), and marvel at a bike parking garage beneath an actual lake.

You’ll discover how Dutch merchants created the world’s first publicly traded company at the harbor and explore Dam Square with its revolutionary town hall-turned-palace. The tour ends at Wynand Fockink, one of Amsterdam’s oldest Dutch gin bars tucked down an alley with a hilariously unfortunate name.

On this 60-minute tour, you’ll discover:

• The 50,000 hand-painted Delft-blue tiles in the pedestrian tunnel depicting Amsterdam’s historic herring fleet
• How the term “coffeeshop” became code for Amsterdam’s hash bars after a 1960s café regular
• Why the Red Light District’s original red lights served a decidedly unromantic medical purpose
• The Tony’s Chocolonely Superstore
• The Beursplein, where Occupy protesters gathered at the actual birthplace of the stock exchange
• Stories about Descartes writing his famous philosophy in Amsterdam while fleeing censorship

This tour strips away the tourist-brochure veneer to reveal the Amsterdam that locals know – complete with terrible puns, historical surprises, and the kind of fun facts you’ll actually remember.

Materials referred to in the tour:

• Time-lapse video of bike parking garage construction
• Damstraat Rentabike
• Those Dam Boat Guys
• Anne Frank Huis
• Boom Chicago Comedy Theater
• Rijksmuseum
• Rembrandthuis
• The American Book Center
• My book: The American Netherlander