The Thousand Year Theft

(4 reviews)

Edinburgh audio tour: The Thousand Year Theft

This is a 0.9mi walking tour

It takes an average of 20 mins to complete.

Edinburgh

The United Kingdom

Archived

This tour isn’t available for download. We’ve preserved the script and audio as a record of its moment in time, but we don’t recommend doing the tour. It was published in May 2017.

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About the Tour

Life isn’t easy for you on board the New Hopes Space Station in the year 3015. You’ve got yourself into a bit of debt, and the only place to turn for some extra cash was crime boss and loan shark Abe Martelli. Now you owe more than you can pay back, but that’s okay. Martelli is a fair man; he’ll allow you to work the debt off instead.

The job he’s given you seems fairly straightforward. You’ll be sent back in time to Edinburgh in the year 2015 to pick up a stolen painting, before taking it back with you to the future, where he’ll sell it on for a massive profit.

Time travel is illegal and dangerous, but you’ll have experienced mission co-ordinator Mr Jennings guiding you every step of the way. What could possibly go wrong?

Tour Producer

A Scottish Podcast

1 tour

Creators of 'A Scottish Podcast' - an Audio Drama about a washed up radio DJ who reinvents himself as a paranormal investigation podcaster.

Preview Location

Location 1

Welcome to the past, agent

Alright, agent. My name is Jennings, your mission co-ordinator. A few very important words of warning before we start. I understand this is your first trip back in time to old Earth, so please remain still and try not to look like a fish out of water.

As you will probably ... Alright, agent. My name is Jennings, your mission co-ordinator. A few very important words of warning before we start. I understand this is your first trip back in time to old Earth, so please remain still and try not to look like a fish out of water.

As you will probably know, I can communicate with you, but you can’t communicate with me. This is just one of the many issues we have with time travel at the moment, you know, along with it being punishable by death if our beloved security service ever gets wind of it.

I am talking to you through a device people used to refer to as a “mobile phone” or “cell phone”. Once I begin to guide you through this mission you may place this device in your pocket and continue to listen to me through the small headphones in your ears. This won’t attract any attention, as it was a common practice between people in this period of history.

Anyway, according to my control radar, we have successfully managed to send you back to the city of Edinburgh, which was the capital city of a country called Scotland on the now uninhabitable planet Earth. It is almost a century before the nuclear apocalypse scorched this world beyond all recognition.

If this is your first time off of the space station you will probably find the sky and sun very bright, and the atmosphere very open. As I say, try not to let this show too much. We can’t be too careful. You’ll get used to it before long.

You may have noticed that humans travelled around in large boxes of metal on wheels in this period. These were known as “cars”. Though these are confined to the clearly visible roadways, you need to be very careful as we’ll need to navigate you over a few of them in order to meet the contact.

Anyway… the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can bring you back to 3015 with the painting. You are in a sector that was known as St Andrews Square. The large column behind you is the ‘arrive and return’ point, so we’ll guide you back here once you have what you came for.

With your back to the column, look down the corridor ahead of you. These were known as “streets”, and like the corridors of the space station each one had a name. The street in front was called “George Street”. On my word, you need to travel across the roadway, and again, I must stress that you take care to avoid confrontation with these “cars” as they can very easily injure or kill you.

Do you see the red cylindrical pillar over the roadway? Head for that. These were called “post boxes”, people in this era used to send each other hand written notes through them. How quaint.

Begin to walk then, and once you have crossed, continue down George Street walking on the left hand side of the road. You will hear from me again very shortly. Read More

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Major Landmarks

Edinburgh Castle
St Andrews Square Edinburgh

Getting There

Route Overview

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Start location
83 Princes St., Edinburgh EH2 2ER, UK
Total distance

1km
Final location
167 Rose St, Edinburgh EH2 4LS, UK
Distance back to start location

496.39m

Directions to Starting Point

St Andrews Square is a five minute walk from Waverley Train Station, on the new town/Princess Street side. Walk up Waverley steps to leave the station and take a left onto Princess Street. Cross the road when safe to do so, and take the first right up St Andrews Street. Head to the column on St Andrews Square to begin your mission (facing in the direction of George Street).

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Tips

Places to stop along the way

Hide out in the Alexander Graham Bell pub if things get too much for you, good luck finding the toilets though, you'll need a separate GPS tour for that.

Best time of day

During the day, when it's light.

Precautions

You have to cross a few roads so be careful. This adventure is a work of fiction with a mature narrative.

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“This app has become my go-to app for audio tours. I pretty much use it for every trip and it works wonderfully. I highly recommend VoiceMap for travelers to truly experience cities.”

App Store Review

“Great app. walk around at your own pace, stop where you want, move on or speed up when you want. Read the script before you go or during the commentary, speed it up or replay it. Repeat the tour whenever you like.”

Google Play Store

Questions and Reviews

3.5 / 5

4 Ratings

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